the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize