I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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