why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
