he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
