Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
