the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize