Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't deserve a penis
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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