ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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