i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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