Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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