NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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