Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
