Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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