My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
