loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you win again, gameday.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
