its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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