Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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