Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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