i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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