Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
