We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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