Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
