you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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