You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
