i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
