Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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