I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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