Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
