break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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