So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You ruined the universe
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
