Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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