I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize