I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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