the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
