I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
