worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize