Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
