FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
