Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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