You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
