im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
