I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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