I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
