omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
