My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
