Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
id be glad to
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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