NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
