What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize