Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize