They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
