I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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