and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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