it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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