i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
