Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
